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How to Win an Argument With a Roommate

by Contributing Writer

Overview

Living with another person can be both joyous and nightmarish. From stacks of dirty dishes to having people over until the wee morning hours, there are countless issues to argue about with your roommate. You may get so frustrated that you want to yell and scream, but that almost never helps you come out the winner in an argument. The most important thing to remember is to be calm and diplomatic, because you're going to have to live with your roommate no matter how the argument ends.

Step 1

Never raise your voice. Your tone and volume often say more than the actual words coming out of your mouth. Don't let yourself get too passionate about the argument, but don't wimp out and give up either. Stay calm and collected.
Step 2

Don't personally attack your roommate. This will send him or her into defense mode and make it nearly impossible to hear and accept the points you're trying to make.
Step 3

Approach the situation in an unbiased way, and offer solutions where it seems everyone wins. Don't just offer answers that seem to be only in your favor. For example, if the argument is over dirty dishes, then show your roommate that a consistently clean kitchen is more enjoyable for everyone and will keep the two of you from fighting when the dishes are stacked up to the ceiling.
Step 4

Use specific proof to argue your point. According to a 2009 article in Loyola University's magazine, using credible evidence will help establish the argument you're trying to make if it is based on fact and not just your opinion. Always stick to the main issue you brought up--don't sidetrack and mention other issues you have with your roommate. At that point, the argument could quickly erupt into a fight.
Step 5

Try to understand where your roommate is coming from. According to a University of Arizona ethics article by Elizabeth Willott, you should assume that your roommate has a valid reason for his or her behavior. By better understanding your roommate's point of view, you'll be able to tailor your own argument to get what you want while accommodating your roommate.
Step 6

Listen to your roommate without interrupting to make him or her feel equally involved in the argument. If you don't give your roommate a chance to tell his or her side of the story, then he or she may feel angry after the argument is over and continue the behavior or bring the issue up again when he or she is even more upset about it.
Step 7

Don't give up. If you aren't making any headway on the issue, then ask your roommate if he or she is willing to step away for a bit and come back to discuss the situation after you've both had more time to think. Agree on a specific time so the issue doesn't get pushed away and forgotten. If it's become a big enough issue to be brought up, then it certainly isn't going to go away on its own.