So you just got a new dog and want people to see that it can do more than lick itself (and others) in inappropriate places. Or maybe you've finally decided that it's time to show your old dog who's boss - the creature wearing the expensive new sneakers, not the one pooping on them.

If you don't have a dog just yet but are planning to get one, keep in mind that while all dogs are trainable, certain dogs are more susceptible to certain types of training. Dobermans are predisposed to be guard dogs, while collies are herding dogs, and setters, pointers and retrievers are hunting dogs.

For more information on picking out a dog to fit your training needs and living style, read "SYW choose the right dog for you?."

Better yet, if you are feeling a little lazy and wanna skip the tutorial, check out this video that will have you training your pooch in no time.

WATCH THIS HOW-TO VIDEO

Using Lures, Rewards, and Bribes in Dog Training -- powered by ExpertVillage.com

1. UNDERSTAND DOG BEHAVIOR

The concept is simple: to train your dog, you must think like him. While many crazy old ladies see dogs as fuzzy, four-legged children (complete with a wardrobe), we have a newsflash: dogs… are… dogs. They don't really understand English (or any verbal language for that matter), they have no idea why you want them to growl at a knife-wielding intruder but not the mailman, and the only things they care about in the entire world are you, food, and play (the order varies from dog to dog). Here are some important dog-brain points:

Pack-think
Be the alpha dog
Puppies
Older dogs
Abuse
Reinforcement

Pack-think

Dogs are actually descendents of their wilder, scarier ancestors - wolves. And while dogs are obviously more docile and responsive to human command, they have retained some wolfish characteristics, including their sharp eyes, their keen sense of smell, and most importantly, their need to be in a pack. To your dog, you and everyone else in your household are in his pack, for lack of a better pack.

So pack-think: understand it, learn it, use it. A pack includes one leader - someone who bosses everyone else around and is respected by all the other members. Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of dogs don't want to be the pack leader; it makes them feel safe to have someone else in charge. But if your dog sees that you are a directionless wimp in need of some authority, he'll happily step into the leader position to whip you into shape. Dogs are all about hierarchies and as far as they're concerned, somebody's got to uphold that top dog position in case you guys get attacked by another pack. It's a dog eat dog world, after all.

Be the alpha dog

To successfully train your dog, you must be the leader of your pack, or at least rank above him. Always be firm and consistent with your dog, as this will show him that he can't get away with everything, even if he really is the cutest thing alive. If you fear that you may already be underneath your dog in rank, don't concede to defeat and continue to let your dog hog the blankets at night - toss him off the bed. While it may seem mean, it's a good idea to show your dog who's boss by pulling rank on him occasionally. Make him get up from the couch so you could sit in his place, and eat your meal before feeding him his, even if he's drooling a lake by your feet. Don't act scared if your dog growls at you when you ask him to do things - just snarl back without touching him and stand your ground. Continue prodding him to obey you until he does.

Puppies

If you have a puppy, make sure you begin training him as soon as he reaches the appropriate training age (we'll get to what that is later on); this will reinforce his natural tendency to depend on others. It's also a good idea to start early because in no time at all, your tiny puppy will turn into a monstrous beast with paws the size of your face. Try training that.

Older dogs

As for the non-puppy owners, you've probably heard the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Well, whoever made up that line was either a very successful liar or someone who lacked the patience to really communicate with his/her dog. While it's true that old dogs don't come with clean slates, they will obey your foreign commands if you make it worth their while to do so. So don't fall for that fallacy.

Abuse

You should NEVER yell at or hit your dog, no matter how frustrating training can get. Going ballistic only teaches your dog to be nervous around you and fear you, making it hard for him to concentrate on what it is you want him to learn. By the way, it's illegal to hit a dog, so if we catch you doing it, we'll throw your butt in jail.

Reinforcement

Reinforcement through repetition and consistency is effective in training anyone - Lassie, a feral midget, even yourself. Habits, good and bad, are formed when an action is repeated over and over again with consistency. So during the process of training your pooch, don't give up the routine until he's got it. And even after your dog has mastered the following tricks, test him on them from time to time to make sure that he's still got it.

2. HOUSEBREAK YOUR DOG

The absolute first thing your puppy must learn is housebreaking - that is, he must learn where and when he may do his business. Besides being substantially advantageous to the hygiene of your household, dogs benefit from having rules and a routine - as pack animals, they look for duties issued by the pack leader and naturally enjoy keeping schedules. Here are the steps to housebreaking your dog:

  1. The best age to begin housebreaking your puppy is between 8 and 12 weeks old.

  2. Experts suggest incorporating a crate in a young dog's training process. (To housebreak an older dog, skip this section.) A crate usually resembles a cage, with a locking door and see-through bars, and should be big enough for the dog to move around in. While it sounds like a miniature jail cell, crates should not be used to punish your puppy. The idea is to make the crate into a doggy bedroom - someplace where your puppy can play and sleep. He should never be confined in his crate for more than two hours at a time.

  3. Because dogs, thank goodness, don't believe in eliminating by their sleeping areas, your puppy will not relieve himself in the crate unless you've cruelly locked him in there for longer than he was able to hold it in. Three-month old puppies generally need to eliminate every three hours, so lead your puppy to a designated outdoor bathroom spot often.

  4. Try to always leave the house through the same door - the door you'd like your dog to scratch at to signal his need to go out in the future.

  5. Try to take your dog out at around the same times each day. A routine will eventually be established, and your dog will soon know to hold it in until you take him out.

  6. If your not-yet-housebroken dog is used to roaming freely around the house, look for clues that tell you he needs to go. Your dog may suddenly put his nose down and sniff the ground intently. He may begin to circle an area. Or, he may stare at the door with an intense look on his face. Signs like these tell you to drop what you're doing and get that dog out of the house. If you catch your dog doing his business inside (and only if you catch him - not after you discover he's already committed the crime), rush over and stop him by grasping his collar, pulling up on it, and saying, "NO" in a deep, stern voice. Then take him outside to let him finish up and praise him with pats on the head or a pleasantly chirped, "Good Fido!" when he does. (Note: Don't say "Fido" if your dog's name is "Rex.")

  7. Whenever your dog relieves himself outdoors, say "hurry up" and then praise him. "Hurry up" serves as the trigger words that will eventually make your dog go on command. That's right, if you consistently say "hurry up" as your dog is doing his business, those words will stick in his mind as an indication to let it all loose, and soon he'll be doing just that whenever he hears the command. Those magical words will make a frigid winter walk much shorter for the future.

  8. When issuing commands, use a deep, gruff voice. Even though most of your speech is just garbled psychobabble to your dog, he will notice tone and pitch differences in your voice. So if you normally sound like Jewel and you suddenly switch to a Sean Connery intonation to deliver a command, he'll pay specific attention to what you're saying in the authoritative Connery voice. Conversely, when you're praising your dog, use a high-pitched, happy voice and incorporate his name a lot. Throw in some excited squealing to really get the point across. You may think you sound ridiculous (and you probably do to other humans), but your dog will eat it up. Encouragement is really important, so ALWAYS praise your dog when he does you proud.

  9. One final thing on housebreaking your dog - maintain your patience. We know that when the stakes are as high as cleaning dog waste off carpets on an hourly basis and having your entire house smell like a public bathroom, you want him to be housebroken as soon as possible, if not sooner. But losing your temper or giving up on your dog will only set back the rewarding moment when things suddenly click in his head: "I'm being housebroken! Well, why didn't you just say so?"

  10. Your dog WILL have accidents at first, so don't complain about mopping up dog pee. To stop persistent accidents, just use common sense. If your dog tends to pee during the night, don't give him water before bedtime. If he tends to poop a lot during the night, take him out one last time right before bed, and wake up early to take him again. First cater to his schedule, and then slowly change it to yours.

3. TEACH YOUR DOG SOME BASIC COMMANDS

Around 12 weeks of age, your dog is ready for some command training.

Pre-training tips:

  1. You should hold training sessions with your dog at least twice a day and each session should be approximately 10-15 minutes long (shorter if either you or your dog get impatient or distracted easily).

  2. When you first begin training, keep within a quiet, confined location without any distractions, then slowly work your way out to public areas.

  3. The first step in training is to figure out what your dog likes so that you can reward him with a desired prize. If your dog is of the food-motivated type, prepare some small treats that don't crumble. The scent of a dirt-size crumb can drive your dog insane and distract him from the task at hand. You want to keep the treats small because you want to be able to give him a lot of them, yet you don't want the training session to be ended by uncontrollable barfing. If your dog loses interest in the treats, switch the type of treat. You may also want to try scheduling training sessions around mealtimes.

  4. If your dog is more driven by petting or a chance to play games with you (as many small-sized dogs are), haul out the squeaky ball. Don't get caught up in the petting and playing during a training session, though. Just reward your pooch with less than half a minute of playtime and then get back to work.

  5. For the following commands, you'll need your dog to be collared and leashed. Collars come in a variety of designs and materials, but a simple nylon one is fine, as long as it isn't slipping off or causing your dog's face to turn blue. If you use a choke chain, make sure it isn't made of chain link, as they can catch accidentally and choke your dog.

Sit

The sit command is possibly the easiest command of them all:

  1. Start by facing your dog with treat in hand.

  2. Show him the treat and as he trots over, raise it up and over his head. In a desperate attempt to keep his eyes on the food, your dog will be forced to sit down.

  3. Say, "SIT" (remember - Connery voice) as soon as your dog starts to do so.

  4. Then reward him with the treat.

  5. If your dog won't sit for the food, kneel down next to him, hold his collar in one hand, and push his rear end gently but firmly down until his rump touches the ground while saying, "SIT." Then reward your dog with pats, ecstatic cheering, a party, or whatever else gets your dog's tail thumping.

  6. Repeat this exercise until your dog sits following the verbal command alone.

  7. Always use the same motion of raising your hand way over your dog's head while saying "sit." This will teach your dog to also associate the hand movement with the command.

  8. Start doing without the treat occasionally (but still the praise) until he no longer needs the treat.

Down

To get your dog to lie down, he must first have mastered the sit command:

  1. After telling him to sit, hold your dog by his collar, stick the treat right in front of his nose, and move it downward slowly.

  2. Your dog's accursed love of food will leave him no choice but to follow the treat down into submission as his restrained collar keeps him from frantically lunging at the treat.

  3. Say, "DOWN" as he begins his descent and reward him only when he is lying fully on the ground.

  4. If your dog's willpower is stronger than his appetite, kneel down next to your sitting dog, gently pick up his forelegs with both hands and arms, and lower him into a lying position while saying, "DOWN." By pulling his forelegs out, he'll be forced to slide down.

  5. Then reward him.

  6. Start doing without the treat occasionally (but still the praise) until he no longer needs the treat.

Come

This useful command will get your dog to stop doing just about anything and come to you:

  1. In the early stages of training, never tell your dog to come over to you for an unpleasant reason (he will associate "come" with negativity and be hesitant to do so).

  2. Start by standing a short distance away from your dog with food or a favorite toy in hand.

  3. Call out your dog's name and as his eyes zero in on the treat and he starts to walk towards you, say, "COME."

  4. When your dog reaches you, respond by doing a jig in celebration of his sheer genius and giving him a treat.

  5. As always, repeat this command until he is willing to come to you even if all you have to offer are your arms and the jig.

During the weeks when you're training your dog to do any of these tricks, if he does an action without your prompting (like if he just happens to walk over to you and sit down), go nuts over his great accomplishment, even though you didn't ask him to do it. Make a big fuss and gush, "GOOD SPARKY! SIT, SIT! Good boy!" At first, your bewildering actions will confuse your dog and possibly make him fret over your mental state. But because his major goal in life is to please you, he will soon plant his furry butt on the ground (or whatever it is you want them to do), just to get that wonderfully exciting reaction out of you again.

Any time a training session isn't going well switch to repeating a trick that your dog has already mastered, reward him for following your command properly, and end the session.

4. TEACH YOUR DOG SOME FANCIER TRICKS

Let's face it: with commands like "sit" and "come" under your dog's belt, you can take him out in public, but dog food commercial directors aren't pounding down your door. You want a dog that raises eyebrows, attracts comely (human) members of the opposite sex, and pays your bills. While all of these things may not actually happen, we can help you teach your dog a few more fun little tricks.

Shake

  1. Get your dog to sit first and hold his attention with a treat.

  2. Then pick up one of his front paws and hold it very loosely in your hand as you say, "SHAKE."

  3. Don't grab his paw or he'll get freaked out by the pressure and withdraw.

  4. Reward him immediately and repeat the exercise several times before giving him a chance to place his paw onto your open palm by himself.

  5. If he doesn't do it after a couple of seconds, pick up his paw for him, while saying, "SHAKE," and guide it into your hand.

  6. Eventually, he'll get the idea.

Fetch

You'll need your dog on a long leash or clothesline for this trick:

  1. Catch his attention with his favorite toy and get him excited by waving it around before throwing it a short distance away from you.

  2. As he inevitably starts to run towards it, yell, "FETCH!"

  3. Once your dog picks up the object, don't walk towards him; wait until he comes to you.

  4. If he starts to wander off elsewhere, pick up the leash and gently pull him towards you.

  5. Pet him on his back and wait for him to drop the toy on his own. (If you try to grab it out of his mouth, he'll interpret it as a tug-of-war game.)

  6. If a couple of hours have gone by and you're still waiting for the toy to hit the ground, present him with a tasty treat or another toy as an incentive.

  7. Then as soon as your dog drops the toy, pick it up and do it all over again.

Door

This is a great trick to teach your dog how to shut doors on his own:

  1. Situate your dog and yourself in a room where the door closes when pushed towards the doorjamb. (Make sure it isn't a swinging door.)

  2. Position the door to be only three inches open.

  3. Hold a treat up against the door, at the height of your dog's nose.

  4. Tell your dog to come.

  5. As he rushes over to claim his reward, lift the treat up and away just before he reaches it, so his nose bumps against the door and it gets pushed forward a little.

  6. As he comes in contact with the door, say, "DOOR," then praise him.

  7. If he doesn't touch the door, don't reward him; just repeat the exercise until he accidentally does.

  8. Have him push the door further and further, until it actually shuts. With consistent practice and patience, he'll soon be slamming doors shut right and left.

If you should come across any specific problems during any of these training exercises, talk to your dog's vet or with other dog owners (the ones with the obedient dogs). Or, check out some dog training discussion forums on-line at Petopia.

Your dog is now ready for Ivy League admission. And now that you've been trained in how to train a dog, reread these steps at least twice and help yourself to your favorite treat.

Good reader! Good reader!