Reading Body Language Tips

by C.J. Heller

Overview

People often say things they don't mean. They may pretend to appear happy and comfortable when they're actually angry or nervous. Their words say one thing, but their bodies say otherwise because verbal language is much easier to control than body language. There are some body language cues that are extremely common and can help you decipher an otherwise confusing situation.

Body language often speaks volumes about a person's behavior, especially in a business environment.
Eye Contact

Check to see if the person is looking at your eyes when he is talking to you. The point of looking is to receive and give attention, says Adrian Furnham in his book "Body Language at Work." A person who always makes eye contact with the person they are talking to is regarded as more believable and earnest and people who are more reserved are less likely to look at people, he says.

Arms as a Barrier

Watch for crossed arms. When a person crosses her arms, she shows she is defensive, according to Tonya Reinman, author of "The Power of Body Language." You may make them uncomfortable and when they are near you or even talking to you, they may cross their arms to feel more protected.
Fidgeting

See if the person is moving their limbs a lot when they are talking to you. Fidgeting may suggest impatience and a desire to flee, Elizabeth Kuhnke says in her book "Body Language for Dummies." She also says that tapping your fingers against a surface indicates boredom or nervousness.
Walking and Posture

Notice a person's walk. Everyone marches to his own beat, but the way we walk also shows how we feel. A person who slouches when he walks may give off the impression of being in despair, Kuhnke says, while a positive person is more likely to have a bounce in his step. However, bouncing too much, coupled with looking around too often, can make you appear lost, says Reiman.
Check for Mirroring

If the person is mimicking your own body language or appears to be trying to do so, she is "mirroring" you. Carol Kinsey Goman says in her book, "The Nonverbal Advantage," published in 2000, that all people do this both consciously and subconsciously and may do so to retain authority or make the other person more comfortable.