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How to Plan Your Own Bridal Shower

by Deborah H. Schreiben

Overview

While traditional rules of etiquette dictate that a maid of honor should plan your bridal shower, sometimes situations call for you to plan your own. This might be because the maid of honor lives far away, has a job that keeps her very busy or simply does not have the desire to plan a shower or the resources to host the event. In addition, times have changed, and truthfully, many people simply don't care who plans and hosts the bridal shower. They just want the opportunity to attend your bridal shower and celebrate with you as you start your married life. Before going ahead and planning your own shower, you should first discuss the plans with your maid of honor or bridesmaids to give them the opportunity to help with the planning or hosting if they want to.

Step 1

Make your guest list. A shower should be a gathering of members of the bridal party and others who are close to you--not a huge event with everyone who is invited to the wedding. This is particularly true when you are planning your own shower. Because some people, particularly those from older generations, might be offended by the fact that you are planning your own shower, you should consider your guest list carefully and invite only those people who will be happy to attend.
Step 2

Decide on a theme for your bridal shower. Bridal shower themes often are based on a room of a house, and guests bring gifts appropriate for that room. If you need cookware or small appliances, consider having a kitchen shower. If you and your husband-to-be enjoy grilling and outdoor entertaining, a patio or backyard shower theme would be just the ticket.
Step 3

Send out invitations several weeks before the shower. Because the shower typically is held about a month before the wedding, you should address shower invitations two months before the wedding. Play down the fact that you are planning the shower yourself. Simply don't include any wording that indicates who is hosting the shower. Be sure to indicate the theme of the shower. Consider the following wording: "You are cordially invited to attend a kitchen-theme bridal shower for Jane Doe at 2 p.m., Saturday, May 4th. The shower will be held at 123 Bride's Address. RSVP (555) 123-4567."
Step 4

Plan your menu. Because you are responsible for doing this yourself, you definitely want to have food that can be prepared completely ahead of time. Think cold salads, petite sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres that can be made early in the day and simply brought out of the refrigerator when it is time to eat. Do not plan any foods that need last-minute preparations. Have big bowls of punch that can be set out on a table before the shower. Plan to do all your work before the shower so you can sit and relax when guests arrive.
Step 5

Think of games for the shower. Search online for game ideas ranging from laid-back to outrageous. Buy prizes for the winners of games and one nicer door prize. And even though you are planning the shower yourself, someone else should run the games and hand out prizes. You are the guest of honor. Ask the women in your wedding party if they will help with this part of the shower.