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How to Counter the Effects of Domestic Violence on Kids
by Kelsey Erin Shipman
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Overview
Domestic violence can affect a child's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Children who are victims of or witnesses to domestic violence have little emotional refuge as one or both parents may be unavailable or dangerous. The best way to counter the effects of domestic violence on kids is to create a safe, loving space where self-expression and group dialogue are encouraged.
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Step 1
Create a safe space. Whether it is your house, the child's bedroom, a therapist's couch or the neighborhood playground, find a space where the child feels safe and comfortable. The abusive parents should have no access to this space nor should any negative influence. Ask the child where this place might be for him.
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Step 2
Encourage dialogue. Talk with the child about her experiences, but always let her take the lead. It may take time for her to open up to you---this is natural after a traumatic experience. Share stories from your own childhood where you felt scared or alone and discuss how you dealt with them.
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Step 3
Provide tools for self-expression. Encourage journaling, painting, drawing, dancing, anything that allows the child to express his fear and concerns, hopes and dreams. Children often think more abstractly than adults and creative arts are a great way for kids to communicate.
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Step 4
Provide resources on domestic violence. The breadth and type of resource will depend on the child's age and state of health. But in general, it is helpful to show kids that other people are also victims of domestic violence and have been able to heal from their experiences. Carefully chosen movies, books and music can provide avenues of growth, understanding and healing.
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Step 5
Openly express your love for them. Healthy role models and relationships are crucial for children to learn how to live a fulfilling life. Unexpected gifts, special field trips, appropriate affection and kind words can do wonders for a broken heart. Keep in mind to always gauge the child's comfort level and act accordingly.
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- Contact a local Domestic Violence Support Group for more help in dealing with abuse and victims of abuse. A mental health professional can also be an excellent resource and tool for healing.
- Contact a local Domestic Violence Support Group for more help in dealing with abuse and victims of abuse. A mental health professional can also be an excellent resource and tool for healing.
- As domestic abuse is a crime, indications should be taken seriously. If you suspect a child may be abused, or you are witnessing abuse between their guardians, contact their school or a trustworthy guardian. The most immediate concern is keeping a child safe from physical harm.
- As domestic abuse is a crime, indications should be taken seriously. If you suspect a child may be abused, or you are witnessing abuse between their guardians, contact their school or a trustworthy guardian. The most immediate concern is keeping a child safe from physical harm.
